Note to the unknown.

So, this is something I wanted to do for a while now. But I was too distracted from games, work and life. Finally, I decided to write because I don’t have Wi-Fi setup here and I have some time to think anything and everything. There are a lot of things which I can talk about right now as my country “Bharat” is fucked up and things are getting worse day by day. But I do not want to get into that as it will lead this to something else. Actually, I don’t know what this is because I am a bit zoned out and I just want to write whatever comes in my head. This is not addressed to something or somebody. You can call it my podcast. Sorta! But in 

written form.

Right at this point where there is so much happening, but I am standing still and looking through everything. Like I am the 3^rd person in my life watching myself and everything else.

Songs are playing on random right now. “Let it go” …. I am not giving much attention to it as of now cause then I will lean towards the meaning of this song and will put myself there. Which will be me crying out loud about I don’t have anyone and to dedicate a song to. I do have memories of people who came and went. Anyways that’s a topic for another day.

I am not even sure about where I am gonna post this or even if I will go online with this. Maybe a blog but this doesn’t concern anyone but me. Maybe few of my friends will read. Well for those friends I want to say Fuck off!! Also, I don’t open up so often, not like this. I have written or thought about stuff a lot but not like this where I woke up and opened my laptop specially to write about stuff in my head. Maybe it’s a good thing maybe I just being an idiot. Whatever it is I am in this flow so I will continue this as I have already taken a nap and I am not tiered. The room is all dark, looking outside it’s the same. Only the city lights.

It’s a view where you think about your life and decisions you have made, deep thoughts. I have stopped listening to the songs as they were distracting me. I don’t know about others, but I can’t think and listen to songs at the same time. Like I need silence, depending on the situation the meaning of silence changes though. I am not explaining this.

I am gonna light a cigarette. 2 reasons, reason 1 because it feels cool in my head. Gives you a feeling of a writer. Which I am not but movies have to be blamed here. Reason 2 because I want to. Although my room lights are off and its dark here and my ashtray is a juice bottle. Cause I just shifted to a new place and things are not in order. The feeling of a writer is just fading away where I have to search for the bottle to put ash in every time. Anyway, the good thing about this place is that if I want to have a coffee at 3 am I can just go downstairs and take it from the dispenser. Which is pretty cool.

How do you deal with a feeling when you want to talk to a person but also not talk at all? Maybe just the presence is needed. I think that’s what I need. Reason behind this is that you might not have topics to discuss sometimes or there is so many things you have already discussed but If you can just be there without constant need of a conversation it makes you feel that you both understand each other and you won’t get bored with each
other’s company.

Ending the chain of thoughts for now.